sometimes, I just can't help myself...

I am a very reclusive person, by nature...I can't help it, it is just the way I am...

I so envy people that have friends that they do things with...all of my friends have moved away or just don't care to try and stay in touch.

Most of my family have their own thing going and not a lot of time for anything else....

I just wish I could be more carefree and outgoing...

Wish I knew what to do to get myself out of being a recluse....it's just hard..

What is pleurisy?

Pleurisy is inflammation of the linings around the lungs (the pleura). There are two layers of pleura: one covering the lung (termed the visceral pleura) and the other covering the inner wall of the chest (the parietel pleura). These two layers are lubricated by pleural fluid.

Pleurisy is frequently associated with the accumulation of extra fluid in the space between the two layers of pleura. This fluid is referred to as a pleural effusion. Pleurisy is also referred to as pleuritis.

The pain fibers of the lung are located in the pleura. When this tissue becomes inflamed, it results in a sharp pain in the chest that is worse with breathing in, aka pleurisy. Other symptoms of pleurisy can include cough, chest tenderness, and shortness of breath.

So yeah, I have been dealing with this for almost a week now. Doctor has me on antibiotics, cough meds, and anti-inflammatory meds...it is getting better slowly..Very slowly...I hope it goes away very very soon...it really hurts.

So, I had to calm down quite a bit before I could tell about this.

What the hell is wrong with kids these days...???  Grr

So anyway there is this hill behind our apartment and on top of this hill is another set of apartments. Between the two there is a fence at the top of the hill. (I will post a pic at the bottom of this post).

Anyway, my two girls and 4 other kids were up on the hill playing, doing their usual things..there is a trail down this hill and they take cardboard or whatever they can find and slide down the hill..so that there tells you its a big hill.

So they are up there playing and these older kids from the other apts. come to the fence and start yell obscene things at the 6 kids that are playing on the hill, yelling such things as suck balls, go suck some guys d*** and the likes of that.. then 3 of them act like they are gonna come over the fence.. so my kids and the others start coming down the hill (running I imagine). I was in the house doing my thing..because I honestly didn't think I had to be out there with them as it's right behind my apt.. anyway....part way down the hill Stephie takes a mad tumble and proceeds to fall all the way to the bottom...

I was so freakin pissed I went to the back door and called them brats and told them they better leave my kids alone...well, Tommy proceeds to go up the hill to the fence and when he gets up there, these little brats started yelling shit at him.....He just looked at him and told him he would pray for them....then the little boy told tommy he was racist. I am like omg, my family is so far from being racist....we just aren't that way..Anyone that knows me and Tommy knows that we are not racist..omg..Anyway the boys mother comes around the apt and stands there with him while he is cursing tommy, can you believe that crap! Grrr She doesn't say anything, just stands there like she approves of what her son is doing....

So, this morning I am sitting here thinking omg, Stephanie could have been hurt a lot worse than she was...thankfully she only had a few scratches from the briars on the way down...I just don't know what the world is coming to.

Okay, I have just finished paying all my bills...which has left me with a little over 200 dollars (and most of the time it's not that much) until the 3rd of next month. To get our things we need such as food,shampoo, soap etc. *SIGH*

And as I have been sitting here looking at the computer screen, I have been asking myself, what things do we need and what things can we live without..

We already have no cable as we can't afford that..we have quit using our heat as much to cut down on the electric bill... and I am asking myself do I really need the internet? Do I need the phone? No, I don't need the internet. Yes I do need the phone. So I am considering cutting my internet and getting the lowest phone package possible.

I know this decision will cut me off from a lot of my friends and that totally sucks. But at the moment, I am considering the welfare of my family and our needs. Which I have not done in a very long time. What could be the benefit of this, you may be asking? Well, the main one is that I won't be sitting on my ass not doing anything. Which I have done a lot of lately and I might actually lose weight! I haven't completely resigned myself to cutting the net yet, will weigh all my pros and cons before making any decisions..I am just getting things down that are in my head now, as I tend to forget things pretty easily as of late.

I have two credit cards that I am paying on and three loans...outrageous!But was so easy to get into. I am cutting the cards up and throwing them away, so that I can't use them. Will get them paid off and gone.

I am going to be planting some veggies instead of flowers this year to ease our grocery cost a little..Will only be a very small garden in the flower beds that I already have as I live in an apt complex and can't have an actual garden.

Why do I feel like I need to simplify things? Well, one I want to get back to basics with my family, especially my children. We do not spend as much time together as a family as we use to and I am starting to miss that.

Then there is the fact that each month when we get paid and it's time to pay the bills, I get beyond stressed...Just thinking about all the money we have to pay out and how little we have left after doing so almost makes me physically sick.

And when the kids want something, most of the time I have to tell them we just don't have the money. Then I feel guilty and think to myself,"what can I give up so they can have?"

So I guess after all this thinking we will be having a family discussion to see where we want things to go, then I will decide from there.

So, if you are reading this friend or not. If you have a piece of friendly advice, it would be nice to hear it.

TTFN,

Bonnie

Okay, so I like to read other people's blogs...I have found from clicking on several of them that they are loaded with spam to buy this or that or deals on this or that and have even come across a few that have stuff I am sure would be considered porn!

Do they not have a way to monitor this? It is very annoying to me..but I guess everyone is entitled their own thing...

Okay, just had to vent about that

TTFN

This was shared in a group of ladie friends I have online...it really hit home and I wanted to share it.(If anyone who reads this knows who wrote it please let me know I will change the info on it.ty)

A friend shared this with me and I thought I would share it.

I.O.U.

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

Nasty, nasty day! I hate rain...

Well, I have not weighed myself in a while. Last night I was quite pleased to step on the scale and see that I had lost 17 Lbs.  That is not much for me as I have a lot to lose, but it is a start and I can go for here...I am so happy.

I am going to start my resistance training tomorrow, will post how that goes.

I have a high school reunion coming up in a about 2 years...I hope I can get all this weight off before then we will see.

Right now I am just happy with the little achievements....